fade to black my beloved

-

literally me. this is so me lmao I can't. but sex as a plot point>>>>>>>>

it's such an intriguing concept lol. some weird animalistic kind of desire you can't control outside of your relationship with the person. what if you hate them but still want to bang them? what if you love them but platonically? what if you love them like that but they don't?? what if it was a random curiosity and it makes things awkward? the possibilities are endless. but the actual thing. blegh.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

does every post on here need a title...?

-
Image
anyway hi. im here from tumblr, because my tumblr addiction was becoming just a tad bit concerning and lowkey ruining my life. but I liked that I had something of a consistent journal where I could pen my thoughts on the go for four (!) years, and I tried getting an ACTUAL journal to compensate but it's just not the same. I can't just whip out my journal anywhere and blab my heart out into a post. for one thing, it's huge as hell. my friend daniel gave me the idea, because apparently that's what he does, and I briefly considered sticky notes that I could just...paste on the journal at the end of the day? but that felt like a waste of paper and wayy too much effort. and god forbid I start using twitter *shudders* so I'm here, trying something new. this place seems just obscure enough that my screaming into the void is actually closer to screaming into a real, y'know, void, and doesn't turn into a chronically online substitute for a social life (*cough* like ...
Read more

need to learn to gatekeep the shit out of my feelings

-
not like. from the people they concern obviously. if you love someone you should let them know etc etc. but like from the rest of the world. like I'm falling in love with someone again and they make me so giddy and happy to the point of inspiring my 27486977th yearny playlist but I'm not giving anyone the details. nazar na lag jaaye. my love is special and gushes like a river and it's mine . but ayfsjigsgsdfj I love love love love love and im not letting anyone ruin it by telling them and letting their opinions affect me this time. every time I fall in love again it feels impossible. is my cold ivy heart thawing yet AGAIN after I thought it was shattered for good from that last time I'm so fucking proud authdgjdvsj I love people
Read more

uuuuuuugh

-
do you ever know these people who you think are super cool at first but then they make their entire personality this other person (oft a boyfriend or partner of some sort) and it's like they don't have a personality outside of the other person anymore and it's. SO FRUSTRATING. LIKE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING TO FIT TO YOUR PARTNER'S TASTE AND ONLY CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE INVOLVED AND NEVER DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING THEY SAY AND JUST UGH. it's like you can't even talk to them one on one anymore you just get the blandest most robotic responses and it's like losing someone you care about except you haven't lost them just. any semblance of a personality they used to have. like it's not even jealousy at this point it's just resignation.  ok rant over. daniel is leaving discord. I don't even feel that sad about it anymore, just numb. I think I need some space from almost all my online friends and I should focus on college an...
Read more